Oh, I can blame So You Think You Can Dance (OMG, Will looked sooooo HOT without a shirt!) and I can blame MySoju.com (endless archives of Korean, Japanese, Taiwanese, and HK drama and movies … and they won’t stop adding more!) and I can blame manga and Stephenie Meyer and Rock Band and Guitar Hero and whatever mind-numbing and brilliant (and not-so-brilliant) form of entertainment that was made for my greedy, addiction-prone consumption. But at the end of the day, I cannot escape the fact that I have a recurring, chronic case of Writer’s Block and Artist’s Block and clogged up creative arteries. I am a pro at soaking up other people’s genius. I dream big dreams of the novels I’ll write, the action-packed romantic manga I’ll craft, the funky and emotionally honest paintings I’ll create, etc., etc. But when it comes down to taking action, I’m a lazy ass. And more importantly, I’m a scaredy cat.
Yeah, it’s the same old story. I create and dream in intense spurts … and then there’s you–Writer’s Block. And every time we’re face to face, it takes so much energy to work through the fear and talk through my doubts and get past the laziness and force myself to do the things I need to do. And every time I tell myself I’m committed, I’m serious, it’s not enough. What does it take to make the commitment? I don’t know. I’m tired. I need a shower. I have work early tomorrow. I’m a no-talent dreamer anyhow. But if it makes me feel better about myself, shouldn’t I do it? What’s wrong with me? Wait, I’m not supposed to beat myself up. It shows bad self-help form.
Aiya, I’m driving myself nutso!
uccloud9 said,
July 6, 2008 at 9:44 pm
i totally relate! i want to write, but it’s not there. i feel you on the spurts too! and on the stephanie meyer bit. i was up late reading the host instead of pursuing the undeniable!
thereisalwaystime said,
July 8, 2008 at 11:22 am
Sometimes it helps to toss it all away and just write. Because at the end of the day, you feel this way because you want to write. The only cure is to… do it. It’s so simple and so difficult at the same time, I know.
Confession: I’ve probably spent three-fold as much time writing About Not Being Able To Write Something as I’ve spent Actually Writing Something.